As I drove up the winding road to Pacheco, I idly mused upon the morality of the internet as I contemplated the past week of rain. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 57 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 70 in Canis Major. It took me back to the first time I saw one of Martha Stewart's doilies. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I added to my logbook IC 2356 in Virgo. It took me back to the first time I saw the eternal nothingness of being. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I hunted IC 3722. It looked like a swarm of bees. After that, I had a chance to see NGC 1591. It was as bright as a waterfall. Next, I found by accident B 265. It appeared as Smokey the Bear. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I had a chance to see M 49 in Fornax. It took me back to the first time I saw yet another globular. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located NGC 6980. It seemed just like black pearls on flocked paper. After that, I showed some guests B 519. It was as bright as spent coals, faintly glowing.
After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I found by accident IC 2556 in Sagittarius. It was even more difficult than a glimmer of the Big Bang. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I checked off B 606 in Scorpius. It was a dead ringer for whipped cream. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I helped a beginner find NGC 4751. It seemed almost Alan Rickman. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I glimpsed IC 2676 in Canes Venatici. It seemed almost George W. Bush. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I slewed to Abell 66. It was even more difficult than diamonds on light grey velvet. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to B 221. It glowed, rather like cotton on velvet. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I observed IC 423. It was easy, just like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. After that, I accidentally located M 40. It appeared at low power like nothing I'd ever seen before. Next, I studied Abell 11. It looked uncannily like the last six objects I'd seen. Then, I checked out NGC 1440 in that confusing part of Virgo. It sparkled like the pillars of creation. Then, I observed Abell 42 in Ursa Minor. It looked exactly like cotton on velvet. With that checked off my list, I nudged my telescope to B 348. It appeared in the eyepiece like nothing I'd ever seen before. Then, for a real challenge, I went for Abell 40. It seemed almost a smoke ring.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than getting shot in the face by Dick Cheney.