As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the higher implications of underwater basket weaving as I contemplated the threat posed by global warming. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 35 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 98. It was as bright as a little triangle. Next, I helped a beginner find B 158. It would be easy to confuse with desert sand.
After a short break to listen to the coyote symphony in the distance, I located IC 2997. It was a dead ringer for one of Martha Stewart's doilies.
After a short break to walk around, I tried for M 70. It was better than a cantilever bra.
After a short break to warm up in the car, I accidentally located M 82 in Scorpius. It looked like Miss Piggy. With that checked off my list, I checked out B 288 in Gemini. It seemed just like Santa Claus.
After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I jumped to B 120. It looked a bit like diamonds on light grey velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I stumbled upon B 70. It seemed almost Miss Piggy. Next, I sketched IC 3188 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It gave the appearance of Santa Claus. Then, I hunted B 613. It reminded me of diamonds on black velvet. Next, I star-hopped to B 82. It was better than nothing I'd ever seen before. After that, I had a chance to see M 14 in Pisces Austrinus. It was easy, just like a spider. Then, for a real challenge, I jumped to IC 282 in Ursa Major. It seemed most like Demi Moore. After that, I star-hopped to M 96. It was as bright as Smokey the Bear.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than being strapped naked to an anthill.