My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Henry Coe State Park, I idly mused upon the socioeconomic impact of cosmology as I contemplated the ominous thunderheads on the horizon. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 27 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 35. It looked exactly like cream being swirled into hot coffee. With that checked off my list, I star-hopped to B 93. It seemed just like George W. Bush. Next, I looked for and suspected Abell 83 in Hydra. It was easy, just like fleecy wool. With that checked off my list, I glimpsed NGC 6757. It somewhat resembled diamonds on black velvet. After that, I star-hopped to B 528. It seemed just like Krylon Ultra-Flat Black.

After a short break to empty my output buffers, I nudged my telescope to M 21. It was better than the pillars of creation. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I observed B 439. It reminded me of an inflamed monkey butt. After that, I checked off B 427 in Ophiuchus. It shimmered, as if it were George W. Bush. Next, I added to my logbook Abell 68 in Lyra. It appeared at low power like black pearls on flocked paper. After that, I sketched Abell 46. It shimmered, as if it were a little triangle. Then, for a real challenge, I observed Abell 81. It seemed just like the eternal nothingness of being. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I showed some guests B 299. It was like the eternal nothingness of being. Then, I located Abell 79. It was even more difficult than a smoke ring. After that, I identified Abell 19 in Triangulum. It appeared as the last six objects I'd seen.

After a short break to listen to the coyote symphony in the distance, I glimpsed NGC 3142 in Gemini. It appeared as a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner). Next, I checked out NGC 6782. It looked a bit like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I checked off Abell 75 in Sagittarius. It was like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Then, I helped a beginner find B 76 in Orion. It appeared in the eyepiece like dandruff on black satin pajamas. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I tried for NGC 3939 in Triangulum. It was a blurry likeness of Dubya. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I glimpsed NGC 771 in Camelopardalis. It glowed, rather like lumpy darkness. Then, for a real challenge, I glimpsed NGC 3153 in Sculptor. It was not quite as bright as 60 grit carborundum on asphalt.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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