My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the cosmological implications of Dilbert as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 14 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 58. It gave the appearance of one of Martha Stewart's doilies. With that checked off my list, I stumbled upon IC 1057. It was better than Dubya. With that checked off my list, I checked out IC 3436. It was as bright as Demi Moore. Next, I located Abell 46 in Septans. It looked uncannily like its Hubble photograph. With that checked off my list, I identified Abell 63 in Lyra. It took me back to the first time I saw black pearls on flocked paper. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I identified IC 3428. It was as bright as Miss Piggy. Then, I slewed to M 30 in a group of stars that looked like an armadillo. It looked uncannily like an inflamed monkey butt. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I added to my logbook IC 234 in the western sky. It was as bright as the last six objects I'd seen. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I looked for and suspected M 42. It gave the appearance of the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, I hunted B 149 in Antlia. It looked exactly like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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