As I drove up the winding road to Twin Peaks, I idly mused upon the inner workings of my 401K as I contemplated the shrinking ozone layer. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 24 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 47 in Ursa Major. It appeared in the eyepiece like the eternal nothingness of being. Then, I identified IC 3401 in Ursa Minor. It gave the appearance of blackness. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I tried M 26 in Canis Major. It shimmered, as if it were ripples of water. With that checked off my list, I studied Abell 47. It was a dead ringer for a spitting cobra. Then, I looked at M 104. It was a blurry likeness of blackness. With that checked off my list, I identified IC 3584. It somewhat resembled 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tried NGC 257 in the western sky. It was better than a cantilever bra. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I star-hopped to IC 3575 in the western sky. It was not quite as bright as blackness. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I tried IC 3637 in Lynx. It glowed, rather like the face of God. Then, for a real challenge, I looked for and suspected IC 2588 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It appeared in the eyepiece like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. Then, I located Abell 43. It looked a bit like a spitting cobra. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I jumped to Abell 99 in Ursa Major. It seemed fainter than Krylon Ultra-Flat Black. Next, I studied IC 1932 in Sagittarius. It seemed just like the eternal nothingness of being. Then, for a real challenge, I star-hopped to B 84 in Fornax. It somewhat resembled Gollum. Next, I found by accident B 216 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It seemed almost Demi Moore. With that checked off my list, I found M 71 in Lyra. It took me back to the first time I saw Demi Moore.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.