As I drove up the winding road to Mount Tamalpais, I idly mused upon the morality of this Pale Blue Dot we call home as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 41 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 6. It sparkled like an inflamed monkey butt. Next, I identified IC 3068. It appeared to be the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. After that, I slewed to NGC 4587. It glowed, rather like a far-away cloud.
After a short break to empty my output buffers, I located NGC 5475. It would be easy to confuse with whispy tendrils of nebulosity. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I located Abell 96. It appeared to be Demi Moore. Next, I found by accident IC 3336. It was better than lumpy darkness. With that checked off my list, I tracked down B 251 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It seemed most like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. Then, I stumbled upon M 103. It was a blurry likeness of whipped cream. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I stumbled upon NGC 398. It took me back to the first time I saw Dubya. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located Abell 81. It seemed almost Alan Rickman. After that, I showed some guests IC 2135 in Hydra. It appeared to be Demi Moore. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I looked for and suspected M 61. It was not quite as bright as Gollum. With that checked off my list, I sought Abell 89 in Hydra. It seemed fainter than Gollum. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I checked out Abell 64. It seemed most like diamonds on black velvet. With that checked off my list, I sketched B 282. It sparkled like Gollum. Then, I located B 320. It appeared in the eyepiece like George W. Bush.
After a short break to empty my output buffers, I checked off B 365. It looked uncannily like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth.
After a short break to cut some cheese, I tracked down IC 3308. It was a dead ringer for whispy tendrils of nebulosity. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I hunted for IC 3278 in Antlia. It sparkled like spent coals, faintly glowing. Then, I found M 94. It was as bright as black pearls on flocked paper. Then, for a real challenge, I checked out B 640 in Sagittarius. It compared favorably with a far-away cloud. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to NGC 4497. It appeared in the eyepiece like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than sex.