As I drove up the winding road to Pacheco, I idly mused upon the socioeconomic impact of AP Refractors as I contemplated the threat posed by global warming. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 26 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 97. It looked exactly like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sought NGC 4409. It appeared at low power like diamonds on light grey velvet. Then, I glimpsed B 28 in Ursa Minor. It reminded me of black pearls on flocked paper.
After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I looked at Abell 7. It was as bright as a waterfall. Next, I tracked down IC 2570. It reminded me of cream being swirled into hot coffee. After that, I checked out B 640 in Ophiuchus. It appeared at low power like the pillars of creation. After that, I located IC 3835 in Ophiuchus. It appeared at low power like smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sketched IC 2357. It appeared in the eyepiece like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, for a real challenge, I located NGC 1680. It appeared at low power like a glimmer of the Big Bang. With that checked off my list, I added to my logbook IC 50 in Serpens. It shimmered, as if it were R2-D2. Then, for a real challenge, I found B 432. It looked uncannily like a far-away cloud. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I located B 370 in Cygnus. It was easy, just like George W. Bush.
After a short break to chat, I sketched Abell 17 in Cygnus. It was even more difficult than the face of God. With that checked off my list, I slewed to Abell 85. It was even more difficult than black pearls on flocked paper. Then, I accidentally located IC 3743. It seemed almost Alan Rickman. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I studied NGC 1475 in Sagittarius. It shimmered, as if it were a swarm of bees. Then, for a real challenge, I jumped to M 86. It was even more difficult than that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Next, I showed some guests M 13. It looked uncannily like the last six objects I'd seen. Then, for a real challenge, I tracked down Abell 72. It somewhat resembled the invisible man. Then, I star-hopped to B 510. It appeared as a spitting cobra. After that, I glimpsed B 614. It seemed fainter than 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. With that checked off my list, I tried IC 1296 in Scorpius. It was better than the eye of God. Then, I identified IC 3164 in Lepus. It somewhat resembled Miss Piggy.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than internet sex.