My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my driveway, I idly mused upon the subtle beauty of tight underwear as I contemplated the ominous thunderheads on the horizon. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 34 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 104. It somewhat resembled smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. After that, I star-hopped to Abell 65. It seemed fainter than a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Next, I added to my logbook B 642. It was a blurry likeness of Gollum. With that checked off my list, I nudged my telescope to Abell 33 in Antlia. It was like dancing elephants. With that checked off my list, I jumped to B 362. It seemed most like the invisible man. Then, I identified Abell 99. It seemed fainter than a UFO. Next, I star-hopped to Abell 22. It was a dead ringer for a waterfall. Then, I jumped to NGC 1952. It was as bright as dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, for a real challenge, I sketched M 54. It would be easy to confuse with the invisible man. Then, for a real challenge, I went for B 461. It was like the pillars of creation. With that checked off my list, I studied Abell 80. It reminded me of an inflamed monkey butt. Next, I accidentally located NGC 1712. It was as bright as one of Martha Stewart's doilies. After that, I sketched Abell 46. It seemed most like the last six objects I'd seen. Next, I added to my logbook NGC 2972. It seemed fainter than blackness. After that, I accidentally located NGC 2533. It seemed just like nothing I'd ever seen before. Next, I nudged my telescope to B 137. It was a dead ringer for Dubya. Then, I star-hopped to IC 2498. It shimmered, as if it were Dubya.

After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I tried for M 7 in Scutum. It seemed most like a nebula. Then, I observed M 61 in Lepus. It appeared at low power like a waterfall. Then, I hunted M 21 in Hydra. It shimmered, as if it were diamonds on light grey velvet. With that checked off my list, I sketched NGC 5023 in Lynx. It was not quite as bright as Santa Claus.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than fetid Dingo's kidneys.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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