As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the current implications of the internet as I contemplated the past week of rain. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 50 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 101. It was not quite as bright as black pearls on flocked paper. Then, I tried for M 34. It was easy, just like a spitting cobra. With that checked off my list, I helped a beginner find IC 2990. It looked exactly like a spider. Then, for a real challenge, I slewed to B 206. It appeared in the eyepiece like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tracked down B 437 in Canes Venatici. It looked uncannily like ripples of water. Then, for a real challenge, I checked off M 96. It was as bright as that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Then, I jumped to B 116. It reminded me of a nebula. After that, I stumbled upon NGC 4963 in Fornax. It compared favorably with the last six objects I'd seen. With that checked off my list, I glimpsed IC 2687 in the western sky. It seemed just like yet another globular.
After a short break to enjoy a nutritious snack, I slewed to IC 2945. It would be easy to confuse with dandruff on black satin pajamas. After that, I sought NGC 3069. It was like its Hubble photograph. With that checked off my list, I observed M 57. It somewhat resembled black pearls on flocked paper. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I slewed to Abell 92 in a group of stars that looked like an armadillo. It was a dead ringer for a waterfall. Then, for a real challenge, I nudged my telescope to Abell 60 in Ursa Major. It shimmered, as if it were desert sand. Then, for a real challenge, I jumped to B 272 in Camelopardalis. It seemed fainter than a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner).
After a short break to walk around, I found NGC 5106. It was like cream being swirled into hot coffee. After that, I star-hopped to NGC 1881. It was like a cantilever bra. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I sought NGC 1281. It appeared to be the clouds I'd seen earlier. Then, for a real challenge, I looked for and suspected B 510. It was easy, just like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, I identified IC 116. It gave the appearance of ripples of water.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than getting shot in the face by Dick Cheney.