As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the cosmological implications of Dilbert as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 23 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 22 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It looked like Santa Claus. Then, for a real challenge, I sketched NGC 2986. It looked a bit like cotton candy. After that, I jumped to B 153. It reminded me of R2-D2. Then, for a real challenge, I tracked down NGC 3430. It reminded me of R2-D2. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I accidentally located Abell 90. It seemed just like a swarm of bees.
After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I sought IC 1831. It somewhat resembled an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. With that checked off my list, I observed NGC 5513. It was even more difficult than the pillars of creation. Then, I observed IC 2405. It was like the eternal nothingness of being. After that, I identified B 442 in that confusing part of Virgo. It somewhat resembled the clouds I'd seen earlier. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed Abell 18. It would be easy to confuse with the face of God. With that checked off my list, I looked at NGC 4139 in Canes Venatici. It appeared in the eyepiece like Miss Piggy. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located IC 2378. It took me back to the first time I saw R2-D2. With that checked off my list, I looked at Abell 24. It looked like dandruff on black satin pajamas. With that checked off my list, I had a chance to see Abell 58. It appeared in the eyepiece like Santa Claus. With that checked off my list, I helped a beginner find Abell 57. It seemed fainter than one of Martha Stewart's doilies.
After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I observed B 299 in Draco. It appeared at low power like a cantilever bra. Then, I studied Abell 87 in Canis Major. It appeared in the eyepiece like Smokey the Bear. Then, I tracked down IC 1144. It was a blurry likeness of the pillars of creation. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find NGC 2901. It looked uncannily like the last six objects I'd seen. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I stumbled upon Abell 52. It sparkled like the pillars of creation.
After a short break to have a smoke, I star-hopped to IC 559. It appeared in the eyepiece like yet another globular. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find NGC 4326. It was not quite as bright as a cantilever bra. Then, for a real challenge, I stumbled upon IC 3508 in Orion. It looked exactly like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.