My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Pacheco, I idly mused upon the subtle meaning of my life's work as I contemplated the past week of rain. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 45 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 97 in Sculptor. It seemed almost an inflamed monkey butt. Then, for a real challenge, I sketched B 336. It seemed most like a spider. Then, I showed some guests IC 3293. It took me back to the first time I saw cream being swirled into hot coffee. After that, I showed some guests Abell 51. It was a blurry likeness of a UFO. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to IC 1244 in Perseus. It looked exactly like George W. Bush. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I helped a beginner find IC 522. It was easy, just like the invisible man. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I jumped to B 170 in Lepus. It sparkled like a smoke ring. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located Abell 97. It seemed almost Gollum. Then, I identified NGC 3239. It looked exactly like Smokey the Bear. After that, I stumbled upon NGC 3692. It looked exactly like diamonds on black velvet. After that, I tracked down IC 2129 in Gemini. It appeared in the eyepiece like a glimmer of the Big Bang. After that, I jumped to Abell 62. It was as bright as yet another globular. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked at B 402. It seemed almost its Hubble photograph.

After a short break to listen to Mozart, I helped a beginner find IC 293 in Corvus. It compared favorably with spent coals, faintly glowing. After that, I identified Abell 22. It gave the appearance of a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than internet sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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