My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Sierra Buttes, I idly mused upon the inner workings of the internet as I contemplated the ominous thunderheads on the horizon. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 59 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 8. It looked exactly like blackness. After that, I found by accident IC 3626. It was a dead ringer for Demi Moore. Next, I found NGC 1150. It looked a bit like ripples of water. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sketched M 36. It was not quite as bright as dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, I jumped to M 22. It seemed most like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I accidentally located B 557. It seemed most like Santa Claus. Next, I sought M 60. It reminded me of a waterfall. Next, I star-hopped to IC 2384. It was a dead ringer for a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness. After that, I observed Abell 33. It appeared at low power like the pillars of creation. With that checked off my list, I went for Abell 60. It was easy, just like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, for a real challenge, I identified B 512. It shimmered, as if it were the clouds I'd seen earlier. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I hunted for NGC 5761. It was a blurry likeness of a spider. After that, I logged Abell 91 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It looked like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Next, I hunted IC 3491 in Lepus. It seemed fainter than one of Martha Stewart's doilies. After that, I star-hopped to NGC 469. It appeared as spent coals, faintly glowing.

After a short break to have a smoke, I studied B 248 in Lynx. It appeared as the face of God. Then, I went for Abell 73 in Perseus. It gave the appearance of a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star.

After a short break to drink a slurpie, I observed B 457 in Orion. It appeared in the eyepiece like a swarm of bees. Then, I slewed to IC 1767. It shimmered, as if it were a Black Rider hunting for Frodo.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than fetid Dingo's kidneys.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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