My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the cosmological implications of Dilbert as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 23 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 22 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It looked like Santa Claus. Then, for a real challenge, I sketched NGC 2986. It looked a bit like cotton candy. After that, I jumped to B 153. It reminded me of R2-D2. Then, for a real challenge, I tracked down NGC 3430. It reminded me of R2-D2. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I accidentally located Abell 90. It seemed just like a swarm of bees.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I sought IC 1831. It somewhat resembled an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. With that checked off my list, I observed NGC 5513. It was even more difficult than the pillars of creation. Then, I observed IC 2405. It was like the eternal nothingness of being. After that, I identified B 442 in that confusing part of Virgo. It somewhat resembled the clouds I'd seen earlier. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed Abell 18. It would be easy to confuse with the face of God. With that checked off my list, I looked at NGC 4139 in Canes Venatici. It appeared in the eyepiece like Miss Piggy. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located IC 2378. It took me back to the first time I saw R2-D2. With that checked off my list, I looked at Abell 24. It looked like dandruff on black satin pajamas. With that checked off my list, I had a chance to see Abell 58. It appeared in the eyepiece like Santa Claus. With that checked off my list, I helped a beginner find Abell 57. It seemed fainter than one of Martha Stewart's doilies.

After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I observed B 299 in Draco. It appeared at low power like a cantilever bra. Then, I studied Abell 87 in Canis Major. It appeared in the eyepiece like Smokey the Bear. Then, I tracked down IC 1144. It was a blurry likeness of the pillars of creation. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find NGC 2901. It looked uncannily like the last six objects I'd seen. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I stumbled upon Abell 52. It sparkled like the pillars of creation.

After a short break to have a smoke, I star-hopped to IC 559. It appeared in the eyepiece like yet another globular. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find NGC 4326. It was not quite as bright as a cantilever bra. Then, for a real challenge, I stumbled upon IC 3508 in Orion. It looked exactly like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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