My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my secret observing location, I idly mused upon the current state of the energy crisis as I contemplated the night's aurora display. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 59 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 38. It looked exactly like cotton on velvet. Then, I studied Abell 33. It was even more difficult than a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Next, I logged M 92. It was like the eternal nothingness of being. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I added to my logbook B 312. It seemed most like a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner). Then, for a real challenge, I accidentally located Abell 87. It looked a bit like Smokey the Bear. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to IC 2728 in Cygnus. It was a blurry likeness of a UFO.

After a short break to listen to the coyote symphony in the distance, I added to my logbook B 248. It reminded me of a UFO. After that, I located M 13. It was a dead ringer for the face of God. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I sketched M 104. It appeared as desert sand. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located IC 1734. It reminded me of an inflamed monkey butt. With that checked off my list, I checked off M 56 in a group of stars that looked like an armadillo. It reminded me of the eye of God. With that checked off my list, I tried for M 31. It reminded me of a waterfall.

After a short break to do some yoga, I added to my logbook NGC 2530. It reminded me of that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. With that checked off my list, I looked for and suspected IC 2252. It sparkled like a whale spouting. Then, I located Abell 93. It was easy, just like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, I observed M 57. It seemed just like the pillars of creation. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I stumbled upon B 187. It appeared at low power like spent coals, faintly glowing. After that, I sketched M 53. It looked like one of Martha Stewart's doilies. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I helped a beginner find M 69. It was even more difficult than Dubya. Next, I tracked down M 83. It would be easy to confuse with Smokey the Bear. After that, I checked off M 70. It looked exactly like the eye of God.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than getting shot in the face by Dick Cheney.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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