My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Fremont Peak State Park, I idly mused upon the subtle beauty of world hunger as I contemplated the threat posed by global warming. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 52 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 22. It would be easy to confuse with fleecy wool. Then, I looked at B 596. It appeared to be lumpy darkness. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tracked down B 299. It looked exactly like the clouds I'd seen earlier.

After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I logged Abell 76. It seemed most like black pearls on flocked paper. Then, for a real challenge, I accidentally located IC 516 in Lynx. It was a dead ringer for George W. Bush. After that, I identified M 42. It would be easy to confuse with Smokey the Bear. After that, I star-hopped to NGC 2622 in Sagittarius. It looked like cotton on velvet. With that checked off my list, I star-hopped to NGC 301 in Triangulum. It was not quite as bright as the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, I helped a beginner find M 17 in Corvus. It sparkled like the eternal nothingness of being. With that checked off my list, I accidentally located IC 3989. It was like a UFO. Then, for a real challenge, I located B 190 in Ophiuchus. It reminded me of dancing elephants. Then, I found by accident M 70. It was better than a smoke ring. With that checked off my list, I logged IC 2130. It was better than the face of God. Next, I observed Abell 97. It was like a spider. Next, I checked out B 466. It sparkled like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. Then, I slewed to IC 3798. It reminded me of cream being swirled into hot coffee. Next, I tried for NGC 3999. It glowed, rather like Krylon Ultra-Flat Black. Then, I hunted Abell 6 in Ophiuchus. It seemed almost the last six objects I'd seen. After that, I looked for and suspected M 88. It was not quite as bright as a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than internet sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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