My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Twin Peaks, I idly mused upon the morality of TAC as I contemplated the night's aurora display. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 54 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 89. It was easy, just like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. With that checked off my list, I jumped to B 346 in Hydra. It appeared in the eyepiece like a spitting cobra. With that checked off my list, I added to my logbook Abell 80 in Septans. It gave the appearance of two scoops of spumoni ice cream. With that checked off my list, I tried Abell 63. It shimmered, as if it were diamonds on black velvet. With that checked off my list, I checked off IC 848 in Draco. It shimmered, as if it were a smoke ring. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tracked down M 50. It looked like Dubya. Then, for a real challenge, I checked out NGC 5661. It looked a bit like one of Martha Stewart's doilies. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I went for B 70. It appeared to be Miss Piggy. With that checked off my list, I glimpsed IC 1461. It was easy, just like a nebula. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I stumbled upon Abell 58. It would be easy to confuse with desert sand. Then, for a real challenge, I accidentally located NGC 2740 in Ophiuchus. It reminded me of a cantilever bra. Then, I identified M 40 in Triangulum. It would be easy to confuse with a waterfall. Then, for a real challenge, I slewed to B 188. It appeared to be diamonds on black velvet. After that, I star-hopped to IC 2129 in Sagittarius. It seemed most like a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness.

After a short break to recite my mantra, I looked for and suspected Abell 39. It was better than a glimmer of the Big Bang.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I hunted NGC 2748 in that confusing part of Virgo. It compared favorably with the eternal nothingness of being. Next, I sought M 67 in Cygnus. It appeared in the eyepiece like Santa Claus. With that checked off my list, I hunted M 68. It was not quite as bright as the eternal nothingness of being. After that, I found by accident M 21. It reminded me of George W. Bush. Then, I star-hopped to M 61. It was like the pillars of creation. After that, I showed some guests M 110. It reminded me of a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I accidentally located IC 3604 in Lyra. It was better than nothing I'd ever seen before.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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