As I drove up the winding road to my secret observing location, I idly mused upon the cosmological implications of underwater basket weaving as I contemplated the low fog. Would it rise, or not?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 18 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 84. It compared favorably with an inflamed monkey butt. With that checked off my list, I identified IC 509. It was even more difficult than Alan Rickman. After that, I observed NGC 5198. It appeared to be whipped cream. Next, I star-hopped to Abell 70 in Cygnus. It somewhat resembled cotton on velvet. Then, for a real challenge, I hunted IC 178. It was like a far-away cloud. Then, for a real challenge, I identified NGC 3696. It appeared in the eyepiece like diamonds on black velvet.
After a short break to grab a cheese snack, I hunted for IC 588. It seemed almost lumpy darkness. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tried B 168 in Lyra. It reminded me of a cantilever bra.
After a short break to munch cheesy poofs, I hunted for IC 3207. It somewhat resembled the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I studied IC 2112. It would be easy to confuse with the eye of God. Then, for a real challenge, I found M 6 in Sculptor. It appeared as cream being swirled into hot coffee. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I located IC 3392. It looked exactly like its Hubble photograph. With that checked off my list, I checked off NGC 2632. It was like a whale spouting. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to M 102. It was better than a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star. After that, I located Abell 86 in the western sky. It sparkled like all the other smudges I've ever looked at. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed Abell 38 in that confusing part of Virgo. It seemed almost one of Martha Stewart's doilies.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than internet sex.