My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Pacheco, I idly mused upon the higher implications of the energy crisis as I contemplated the approaching back of the front... would seeing and transparancy improve soon?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 27 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 20. It seemed fainter than the last six objects I'd seen.

After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I located NGC 1770 in Corvus. It was as bright as spent coals, faintly glowing. Then, I found M 81. It was a blurry likeness of a waterfall. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked at M 24. It reminded me of Krylon Ultra-Flat Black.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I studied IC 3397 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It seemed fainter than a cantilever bra. Then, for a real challenge, I tracked down M 101 in Corvus. It looked uncannily like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After that, I glimpsed M 104 in Fornax. It gave the appearance of George W. Bush. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I found by accident Abell 24. It was like dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, for a real challenge, I tried M 97 in Corvus. It looked like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After that, I accidentally located M 19. It shimmered, as if it were the invisible man. Next, I star-hopped to IC 1344. It looked exactly like Santa Claus.

After a short break to have a smoke, I star-hopped to IC 3595. It took me back to the first time I saw the last six objects I'd seen. Next, I checked out IC 2682. It sparkled like the last six objects I'd seen. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked at IC 1771. It took me back to the first time I saw Dubya. Then, for a real challenge, I slewed to M 79 in Serpens. It was a dead ringer for yet another globular. Next, I observed IC 3367. It appeared as diamonds on black velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I found Abell 27. It was even more difficult than a cantilever bra. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found IC 3706. It seemed most like all the other smudges I've ever looked at.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than reading observing reports.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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