My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Mount Tamalpais, I idly mused upon the subtle beauty of my life's work as I contemplated the shrinking ozone layer. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 9 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 107. It appeared as cream being swirled into hot coffee. Then, for a real challenge, I added to my logbook NGC 4270. It somewhat resembled the clouds I'd seen earlier. Next, I tracked down IC 1026. It would be easy to confuse with cotton candy. After that, I looked at Abell 34 in Lyra. It reminded me of dandruff on black satin pajamas. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to B 476. It took me back to the first time I saw dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, I hunted Abell 50. It was a dead ringer for an inflamed monkey butt. After that, I tried M 45. It reminded me of a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I located M 43. It seemed most like all the other smudges I've ever looked at. Then, I accidentally located M 59 in a group of stars that looked like an armadillo. It would be easy to confuse with all the other smudges I've ever looked at. With that checked off my list, I showed some guests NGC 6087. It seemed just like the pillars of creation. Then, for a real challenge, I glimpsed Abell 31 in Lynx. It looked a bit like smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. With that checked off my list, I jumped to M 3. It reminded me of dancing elephants. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I hunted NGC 3629. It was better than the last six objects I'd seen. With that checked off my list, I checked off M 55. It appeared at low power like a little triangle. Then, for a real challenge, I added to my logbook Abell 32. It appeared to be all the other smudges I've ever looked at. After that, I helped a beginner find B 528. It compared favorably with all the other smudges I've ever looked at. Then, I logged NGC 4918 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It looked like whipped cream.

After a short break to listen to Mozart, I went for B 552 in Orion. It somewhat resembled that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Next, I nudged my telescope to NGC 3570. It was better than Smokey the Bear. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I identified B 278 in Cygnus. It appeared to be a cantilever bra. With that checked off my list, I star-hopped to NGC 2303. It appeared as Krylon Ultra-Flat Black.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than listening to the Monkees Box Set.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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