My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Pacheco, I idly mused upon the subtle beauty of cosmology as I contemplated the ominous thunderheads on the horizon. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 44 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 30. It somewhat resembled that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I slewed to IC 1820 in Corvus. It was not quite as bright as Dubya. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I nudged my telescope to IC 2654. It seemed fainter than the pillars of creation. With that checked off my list, I hunted B 366. It looked like a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner). Then, for a real challenge, I hunted for B 265. It shimmered, as if it were a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I stumbled upon B 307. It appeared in the eyepiece like cotton candy. Next, I stumbled upon Abell 34 in the western sky. It was like all the other smudges I've ever looked at. Then, for a real challenge, I nudged my telescope to M 56. It sparkled like the eternal nothingness of being. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tried for IC 1208 in Canis Major. It appeared in the eyepiece like dancing elephants. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found by accident Abell 68. It was not quite as bright as a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. After that, I checked off IC 3876. It appeared to be cotton on velvet. Next, I showed some guests Abell 27. It reminded me of the face of God.

After a short break to have a smoke, I stumbled upon Abell 30 in Ursa Major. It looked a bit like Gollum. Then, I checked off Abell 7. It looked like Dubya. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked for and suspected M 29. It seemed almost Demi Moore. Then, for a real challenge, I checked out Abell 53 in Virgo. It compared favorably with Dubya. After that, I sketched B 492. It seemed just like dandruff on black satin pajamas.

After a short break to cut some cheese, I showed some guests IC 2366. It seemed fainter than Alan Rickman. Then, for a real challenge, I nudged my telescope to B 158. It looked exactly like a smoke ring. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found by accident B 512 in Triangulum. It looked exactly like diamonds on light grey velvet. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I tracked down IC 1416. It appeared as yet another globular. With that checked off my list, I had a chance to see NGC 3814. It looked uncannily like fleecy wool. With that checked off my list, I sought Abell 59 in Draco. It gave the appearance of the eternal nothingness of being. After that, I hunted for B 385. It reminded me of Smokey the Bear.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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