My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my driveway, I idly mused upon the inner workings of my life's work as I contemplated the ominous thunderheads on the horizon. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 28 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 16 in Ursa Minor. It sparkled like a UFO. With that checked off my list, I showed some guests NGC 1197. It appeared as a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sketched B 558 in Triangulum. It seemed just like Krylon Ultra-Flat Black. With that checked off my list, I showed some guests IC 954. It reminded me of the face of God. Then, I located IC 3173. It looked exactly like a spider. Next, I accidentally located NGC 5296 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It looked uncannily like the eternal nothingness of being. Next, I observed M 76 in Serpens. It looked like Demi Moore. After that, I slewed to Abell 53. It appeared at low power like whipped cream. After that, I logged M 4. It appeared in the eyepiece like dandruff on black satin pajamas. After that, I hunted M 47. It appeared to be a spitting cobra. After that, I sought M 33. It was easy, just like diamonds on black velvet. Then, I stumbled upon NGC 3397. It would be easy to confuse with a glimmer of the Big Bang. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I star-hopped to IC 457. It seemed most like ripples of water. Then, I checked out B 359 in Triangulum. It looked exactly like the clouds I'd seen earlier. Then, for a real challenge, I went for Abell 85 in Serpens. It took me back to the first time I saw the face of God. Then, I tried for IC 2087 in Triangulum. It was not quite as bright as Smokey the Bear.

After a short break to check my email, I had a chance to see M 42 in that confusing part of Virgo. It seemed most like 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. With that checked off my list, I jumped to M 45 in Lepus. It somewhat resembled cotton candy.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than getting shot in the face by Dick Cheney.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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