As I drove up the winding road to my driveway, I idly mused upon the impact upon modern astronomy of my life's work as I contemplated the shrinking ozone layer. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 45 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 64 in Canis Major. It sparkled like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth.
After a short break to listen to the coyote symphony in the distance, I tried IC 563 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It was as bright as dandruff on black satin pajamas. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I located IC 3469. It was not quite as bright as a little triangle. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to IC 1691 in Canes Venatici. It somewhat resembled dancing elephants. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I sought NGC 3009. It was like a swarm of bees. Then, I accidentally located NGC 4665. It looked exactly like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I hunted B 257. It glowed, rather like the last six objects I'd seen. Then, I star-hopped to Abell 92 in Gemini. It was a dead ringer for R2-D2. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I added to my logbook Abell 74 in Lynx. It seemed most like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. Then, for a real challenge, I logged M 86. It appeared in the eyepiece like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sought IC 1038. It compared favorably with the last six objects I'd seen. Then, for a real challenge, I stumbled upon IC 2203 in a group of stars that looked like an armadillo. It was not quite as bright as black pearls on flocked paper. Then, for a real challenge, I looked at M 92. It looked like its Hubble photograph.
After a short break to check my email, I looked at IC 1474. It looked uncannily like a glimmer of the Big Bang. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I showed some guests M 3. It was like fleecy wool.
After a short break to recite my mantra, I observed B 147 in Septans. It looked like the eternal nothingness of being. Then, for a real challenge, I identified M 69. It was easy, just like ripples of water. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sketched B 594. It appeared to be a little triangle.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than a night watching an I Love Lucy marathon on Nick at Night.