As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the impact upon modern astronomy of the energy crisis as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 31 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 33. It was a dead ringer for Gollum.
After a short break to munch cheesy poofs, I logged B 318. It would be easy to confuse with a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed Abell 89. It gave the appearance of diamonds on black velvet. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I star-hopped to B 45. It took me back to the first time I saw a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. Then, for a real challenge, I studied Abell 75 in Canes Venatici. It would be easy to confuse with a swarm of bees. Next, I checked off Abell 45. It shimmered, as if it were cotton candy. With that checked off my list, I checked off Abell 53. It seemed most like dancing elephants. Then, for a real challenge, I looked at M 58. It appeared in the eyepiece like 60 grit carborundum on asphalt.
After a short break to do some yoga, I found NGC 3956 in Scorpius. It would be easy to confuse with diamonds on light grey velvet. With that checked off my list, I logged B 379 in Sculptor. It would be easy to confuse with Alan Rickman. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I tried M 74. It seemed fainter than a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner). After that, I tried NGC 5491. It was even more difficult than two scoops of spumoni ice cream. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I studied M 53. It was like whipped cream. Then, for a real challenge, I looked at Abell 83. It looked a bit like the eye of God. Then, I helped a beginner find B 434. It took me back to the first time I saw Miss Piggy. After that, I hunted M 76. It seemed fainter than Gollum. Then, for a real challenge, I located B 522 in Lyra. It looked a bit like diamonds on light grey velvet. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found by accident Abell 97. It somewhat resembled an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. Next, I logged B 602. It was even more difficult than spent coals, faintly glowing. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I stumbled upon NGC 157. It was as bright as cotton candy. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find NGC 638 in Pisces Austrinus. It appeared at low power like George W. Bush. Then, I logged IC 87 in Lynx. It compared favorably with diamonds on black velvet.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than taking an elevator during a Stage 3 alert.