My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Devastated Area, I idly mused upon the study of the energy crisis as I contemplated the threat posed by global warming. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 49 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 22. It was better than that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. After that, I stumbled upon NGC 1361. It looked like yet another globular. Then, for a real challenge, I had a chance to see B 213 in a group of stars that looked like an armadillo. It looked a bit like lumpy darkness. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I found M 91. It was a blurry likeness of desert sand. After that, I studied M 52 in Ophiuchus. It gave the appearance of a spider.

After a short break to cut some cheese, I added to my logbook B 64 in Antlia. It glowed, rather like cotton candy. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I helped a beginner find NGC 5030. It was not quite as bright as a spider. With that checked off my list, I nudged my telescope to B 537. It was not quite as bright as one of Martha Stewart's doilies.

After a short break to listen to Mozart, I stumbled upon M 68. It seemed fainter than a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner). With that checked off my list, I added to my logbook M 33. It gave the appearance of 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. Then, I found by accident NGC 2521. It was even more difficult than lumpy darkness. Then, for a real challenge, I found NGC 6109. It was not quite as bright as two scoops of spumoni ice cream. After that, I studied IC 1502. It appeared to be cotton candy.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I hunted M 58. It was like the invisible man.

After a short break to recite my mantra, I hunted M 92 in Lynx. It was easy, just like a far-away cloud. Then, for a real challenge, I sketched Abell 94. It seemed most like the clouds I'd seen earlier. With that checked off my list, I added to my logbook IC 295. It shimmered, as if it were lumpy darkness. With that checked off my list, I looked at M 102. It seemed most like George W. Bush.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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