My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Pacheco, I idly mused upon the subtle meaning of Plato's Republic as I contemplated the night's aurora display. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 56 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 75. It appeared in the eyepiece like an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I studied B 557. It somewhat resembled the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. With that checked off my list, I hunted M 74. It glowed, rather like lumpy darkness. After that, I checked off NGC 3120. It seemed most like the pillars of creation. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed M 102. It appeared to be all the other smudges I've ever looked at. With that checked off my list, I sketched NGC 2489 in the western sky. It seemed most like diamonds on black velvet. Then, I nudged my telescope to Abell 11. It appeared at low power like a cantilever bra. With that checked off my list, I slewed to Abell 62. It gave the appearance of nothing I'd ever seen before. After that, I jumped to IC 3564 in Perseus. It somewhat resembled Krylon Ultra-Flat Black.

After a short break to munch cheesy poofs, I helped a beginner find B 611. It reminded me of diamonds on black velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I went for B 647. It was better than spent coals, faintly glowing. Then, I identified Abell 43. It appeared at low power like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I tracked down B 293. It looked like blackness. With that checked off my list, I located Abell 3. It glowed, rather like a little triangle. Next, I had a chance to see Abell 92. It shimmered, as if it were ripples of water. Then, I star-hopped to Abell 88. It appeared to be one of Martha Stewart's doilies. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I located NGC 5850 in Canis Major. It looked like cotton candy. Next, I found by accident B 452. It reminded me of dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, I stumbled upon IC 2405. It compared favorably with its Hubble photograph. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I star-hopped to M 34 in Perseus. It would be easy to confuse with fleecy wool. Next, I accidentally located IC 1982 in Scutum. It was a blurry likeness of Demi Moore. With that checked off my list, I studied B 577. It seemed most like dandruff on black satin pajamas.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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