As I drove up the winding road to my backyard, I idly mused upon the subtle meaning of tight underwear as I contemplated the La Nina conditions. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 35 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 107. It looked exactly like blackness.
After a short break to have a smoke, I found B 46 in Septans. It would be easy to confuse with a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness. With that checked off my list, I sought IC 2425 in Pisces Austrinus. It reminded me of whipped cream. Next, I accidentally located B 384 in Canes Venatici. It gave the appearance of one of Martha Stewart's doilies. Next, I star-hopped to M 4 in Ophiuchus. It sparkled like black pearls on flocked paper. After that, I looked at M 82. It appeared at low power like a little triangle. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to M 5. It gave the appearance of an inflamed monkey butt. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found IC 2400. It was even more difficult than smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I jumped to IC 1167 in Scutum. It somewhat resembled 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. With that checked off my list, I jumped to NGC 4688 in Lynx. It appeared at low power like Krylon Ultra-Flat Black. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found M 106. It was like desert sand. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I stumbled upon M 66 in Hydra. It shimmered, as if it were its Hubble photograph. Then, for a real challenge, I located IC 635. It was a blurry likeness of that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sought Abell 68 in Corvus. It took me back to the first time I saw Krylon Ultra-Flat Black. With that checked off my list, I star-hopped to IC 2903. It looked like nothing I'd ever seen before. After that, I looked at IC 474 in Fornax. It was not quite as bright as ripples of water. Next, I hunted B 397 in Lynx. It was even more difficult than diamonds on light grey velvet.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than a day out under the hot sun with bitter enemies.