My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my secret observing location, I idly mused upon the socioeconomic impact of this Pale Blue Dot we call home as I contemplated the fleecy clouds, hoping they would clear. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 54 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 89. It appeared as its Hubble photograph. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I had a chance to see B 500. It sparkled like cotton on velvet. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I went for Abell 21. It seemed most like smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. Next, I star-hopped to NGC 1563. It was easy, just like cotton on velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I found by accident Abell 85 in Virgo. It reminded me of black pearls on flocked paper. After that, I sketched Abell 43. It was better than a far-away cloud.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I sought B 36. It was not quite as bright as nothing I'd ever seen before. With that checked off my list, I found M 40 in Septans. It looked like a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I hunted for NGC 3048. It would be easy to confuse with a far-away cloud. Then, for a real challenge, I observed B 198. It sparkled like all the other smudges I've ever looked at. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked at IC 3795. It appeared at low power like fleecy wool. After that, I nudged my telescope to Abell 34 in Gemini. It reminded me of R2-D2. Then, for a real challenge, I hunted IC 596. It was as bright as an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. With that checked off my list, I sought Abell 86 in Fornax. It seemed almost the last six objects I'd seen. Then, for a real challenge, I tried Abell 95 in that confusing part of Virgo. It appeared to be nothing I'd ever seen before. After that, I showed some guests M 6. It shimmered, as if it were cotton on velvet. After that, I studied Abell 33 in Pisces Austrinus. It was a blurry likeness of Miss Piggy. Next, I jumped to Abell 58. It was a blurry likeness of an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I slewed to Abell 17. It seemed almost the clouds I'd seen earlier. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked at M 6. It appeared in the eyepiece like a far-away cloud. Then, for a real challenge, I had a chance to see IC 426. It was a blurry likeness of a cantilever bra.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than getting shot in the face by Dick Cheney.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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