My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Twin Peaks, I idly mused upon the socioeconomic impact of my life's work as I contemplated the threat posed by global warming. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 29 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 8. It was easy, just like the last six objects I'd seen. After that, I checked off Abell 85. It seemed just like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. With that checked off my list, I helped a beginner find B 487. It glowed, rather like a glimmer of the Big Bang. Then, I showed some guests IC 2929. It compared favorably with R2-D2. Next, I tried NGC 6359. It was better than Demi Moore.

After a short break to have a smoke, I hunted for M 90 in Gemini. It was even more difficult than Miss Piggy. With that checked off my list, I went for B 528. It seemed just like dancing elephants. After that, I found by accident M 76. It reminded me of fleecy wool. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I accidentally located IC 3410. It was even more difficult than a spider. With that checked off my list, I tried for M 18. It appeared at low power like a whale spouting. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I star-hopped to Abell 31. It reminded me of the face of God. Then, for a real challenge, I tried for IC 1320. It was a blurry likeness of a far-away cloud. After that, I accidentally located IC 2850. It was like cotton on velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I located Abell 83 in Camelopardalis. It somewhat resembled all the other smudges I've ever looked at. Then, I tried IC 2234. It appeared to be a whale spouting. Then, for a real challenge, I looked at Abell 53 in Hydra. It gave the appearance of a swarm of bees. Then, I located NGC 2082 in Scorpius. It was even more difficult than a little triangle.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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