As I drove up the winding road to Devastated Area, I idly mused upon the socioeconomic impact of the internet as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 58 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 54. It was like its Hubble photograph. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I accidentally located IC 868. It was a blurry likeness of an inflamed monkey butt.
After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I jumped to M 20 in Lynx. It was like Miss Piggy. Then, for a real challenge, I identified M 18. It seemed most like a waterfall. With that checked off my list, I tried B 54 in Draco. It reminded me of one of Martha Stewart's doilies.
After a short break to cut some cheese, I found B 303. It glowed, rather like R2-D2. Then, for a real challenge, I studied Abell 82 in Virgo. It glowed, rather like Dubya. Next, I star-hopped to NGC 2113. It was a blurry likeness of a little triangle. With that checked off my list, I logged Abell 98. It seemed most like the face of God. With that checked off my list, I checked off Abell 30. It appeared at low power like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. Then, I hunted for M 35 in Camelopardalis. It appeared as cream being swirled into hot coffee.
After a short break to do some yoga, I star-hopped to IC 1102. It appeared to be ripples of water. Then, I tried for B 466 in Perseus. It looked a bit like a spider. Next, I looked at Abell 47. It looked exactly like its Hubble photograph. Then, I slewed to Abell 95. It was even more difficult than a little triangle. Then, for a real challenge, I had a chance to see Abell 2. It seemed most like the invisible man. Next, I sketched Abell 9. It took me back to the first time I saw a spitting cobra.
After a short break to listen to Mozart, I found Abell 84 in Lepus. It was even more difficult than smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. With that checked off my list, I tried B 349. It looked uncannily like diamonds on black velvet.
After a short break to have a smoke, I jumped to M 75. It looked like the clouds I'd seen earlier. After that, I located B 583 in Cygnus. It looked exactly like whipped cream. Next, I looked for and suspected M 107. It appeared in the eyepiece like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than sex.